Going Like Sixty |
- Where Do Children Get Their Mean Streak?
- Larry King Proves That Even Mediocre Can Have a Career [1982 Video]
- Welcome to the Sixty Manual of Style
- Is It The Way We Treat Horses? What Makes Kentucky The Best Place to Abuse Animals?
- Facebook Doesn’t Want to Know About Abuse
| Where Do Children Get Their Mean Streak? Posted: 16 Dec 2010 10:57 PM PST Bulbous sent me this from her phone. Where do children get such mean streaks? And why do they think it’s clever and cute to be so mean? 10-Day Forecast:
Needless to say, Bulbous and St. Todd DeCubbville are basking. We are not basking in SoKY. We are dripping and/or icing. Although from her getup today, her blood definitely has reached Florida viscosity. Yeah, she was whining about having to wear a turtleneck and sweatshirt. She forgot to mention, the bottom half of her pants were gone! Bulbous has a detached building from their house that has been converted into a work-out area. The OFF, which is a play on their last name. When I mentioned that we could move into the OFF and that I would even add a bathroom, she was suddenly no longer basking, she was luke-warm. When I suggested they buy the empty lot behind their house and we could pitch a tent, she was chilly. She gots a mean streak. She started it! When I said they should buy the lot, put in a pool with a really nice pool house and hire me as their pool-geezer and we could live in the pool house, she stopped replying to my email.
Sweet. This could work. My job daily duties :
Shouldn’t be a problem, does this dog look motivated?
Yep, this could work out just fine. Now to convince St. Todd Decubbville that his Mother-in-Law is capable of contributing as much as I do to his fine lifestyle. |
| Larry King Proves That Even Mediocre Can Have a Career [1982 Video] Posted: 16 Dec 2010 05:19 PM PST Larry King discussed his career in radio in a C-SPAN interview on September 3, 1982. I’ve never been a fan. Critics will ask: have you ever watched? If you are a fan and want to see a true interviewer work on a faux interviewer, you can watch Brian Lamb do Larry King for an hour here. |
| Welcome to the Sixty Manual of Style Posted: 16 Dec 2010 08:16 AM PST The Swiss are fastidious, I’ve heard. For a country that encourages random holes in their cheese, they apparently want their bankers to look perfect. Thus, UBS AG has a 43 page manual on how to dress. Scallywag and Vagabond (S&V) did a suitable send up on their reaction to the rules of dress. UBS AG thinks the way people dress will help instill confidence in the Swiss bank.
Sixty Manual of Style: If you wear lots of black and grey and white you can get dressed in the dark and nobody will know the difference. Kill the navy, too close to black. Of course you may look like a Banker Penguin.
Sixty Manual of Style: Oh hell no. Short skirt = slut? No way Josie. Even a knee length skirt can be risque. Watch out for those underground station grates. In the Sixty Manual of Style the length of the skirt is directly proportional to salary. If you want to get paid more, wear shorter skirts, subject to the height and length requirement of your legs must be as long as the top of your head to your lady bits and weigh no more than a 1/8 your total body weight which is limited to 1.66 pounds per inch of height. Just check your skirt length with me mmmmmkay? Bitter, lonely midgets need not apply. Unless you’re in the LPGA in which case refer to the dress code outline here.
Sixty Manual of Style: Goth? You’re fired. Even if you show up in your black underwear. Of course this doesn’t apply to guys – unless they show up in their lingerie. Penguin? Goth? Who can tell the difference?
Sixty Manual of Style: Hair growing on the top of your head must be clean and devoid of anything resembling Brylcreem. Other hair should not be visible: nose, ears, legs, pubes, etc.
Sixty Manual of Style: See Penguin reference above. Men: Buy only black socks. Or no socks. Trust me. And don’t cross your legs, ever. Even Cary Grant looked gay when he crossed his legs. Oh wait, he was gay wasn’t he.
UBS and S&V dealt with other issues on fashion for the Swiss Bankers and Bankeress. …like fragrance… Sixty Manual of Style: Don’t smell bad. Don’t be Armenian or French. …and accessorizing… Sixty Manual of Style: Keep the rings smaller than your wrist watch. Keep your wrist watch smaller than you necklace. Keep your necklace smaller than your tiara.
Sixty Manual of Style: Combovers should start no lower the the ear lobe and not extend past the ear lobe on the opposite site of the head. This applies to both male and female of the breed.
Note to Miss Sixty: please don’t serve ads on this site. Your fashions are inappropriate.
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| Is It The Way We Treat Horses? What Makes Kentucky The Best Place to Abuse Animals? Posted: 15 Dec 2010 10:41 PM PST Uh, no. It’s not the way Ma Fellow Kentuckians treat horses that makes being an animal abuser easy in Kentucky.
Kentucky, North Dakota, Idaho, Mississippi and Iowa are the five best states in the country to be an animal abuser, according to a new report released today by the Animal Legal Defense Fund (ALDF). After checking through 4,000 pages of statutes, tracking fourteen broad categories of provisions, the report recognizes the states where animal law has real teeth, and calls out those like Kentucky–the single worst in the nation for animal protection laws for the fourth year running--where animal abusers get off easy. Why is Kentucky the worst?
Stephan Otto, the Animal Legal Defense Fund’s director of legislative affairs and author of the report says this:
But in rural counties, there are more animal abusers – dog and cock fighters, and puppy mills owners who vote – and contribute money to the pols, than those who think animals need our protection. In case you haven’t looked, Kentucky is a rural state. Those lawmakers from the rural counties aren’t going to touch any law that smells of animal protection, any more than they would touch a law that touches gun control or restricts property rights. Losers. I’m ashamed of Kentucky. But proud that we live in a community that supports a no-kill animal shelter. And while I’m on my soap-box, go here and vote for this couple in Costa Rica trying to save animals. There is only one shelter in Costa Rica in the running, Lighthouse. They are just a couple of plain folks trying to make a difference by pinching pennies and searching for free money from companies who want to do good. As Frances explained: every one of these shelters deserves the money, but many get support from other grants and agencies. This contest is the only free money Lighthouse Animal Shelter has a shot at. They are in second place by a hair… your votes (contest ends Saturday) could keep them in the money. BTW: if you have more than one computer with more than one browser, vote them ALL! [] = climbs down off soapbox. |
| Facebook Doesn’t Want to Know About Abuse Posted: 15 Dec 2010 08:24 AM PST Time Person of the Year, Mark Zuckerberg, is the CEO of Facebook. So I thought I would help out my fellow Mark and police his website last evening, despite the fact that Facebook labeled me annoying – police sometimes have to be annoying, right?
See all those dots and the link ends in .to? Sound the General Alarm, Sound the General Alarm... .to is the top level domain name for Tonga! Nothing ever good came out of Tonga, except for those toy trucks, and those were Tonka which caused the war in Vietnam which was the Tonkin Gulf Resolution, which of course is no way you want to play the game, just tonkin’ the golf ball. Since I was on night watch over the mean streets of Facebook, I forwarded the email to the industry standard email address to report abuse. abuse@facebook.com You’re welcome Mark. But wait, what’s this? The email didn’t bounce like it was a bad address, it bounced because Facebook doesn’t care about abuse. I got this breezy email back from the abuse watchers at Facebook:
Yes, the email address abuse@facebook, was valid, it’s just that a live person doesn’t bother to look at anything that pops up there – even reports of abuse. Instead the auto-reply gave me these choices of links to click:
Most had the admonishment to “use the proper reporting.” Hey Zucker! When an email hit’s Facebook and it has the word “abuse” in the address, you can’t have one of your engineers write some code to forward it to “Reporting Abusive Content?” so a person will deal with it? To add insult to insult, I get a follow up email chastising me for not know that @facebook.com has been changed to @fb.com.
I guess when you are busy invading Facebook privacy, having to type “facebook” rather than “fb” would be kind of a hassle. Those guys driving Tonkas in Tonga certainly appreciate the pixel savings, let along the wear and tear on keyboards by not having to type those six extra characters. I’m done. I resign my volunteer duties as the Facebook Police. It’s bad enough you consider be annoying, but to summarily discharge and prematurely ejaculate with a poo-poo brush off, is even more than I can stand. Mark Zuckerberg, Time Person of the Year, I got your award right here. |
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