The Baby Boomer Renaissance: Going Like Sixty

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Going Like Sixty

Smallburg Admits Stop Signs Really Mean Speed Up

Posted: 26 Mar 2011 03:08 PM PDT

Smallburg has finally admitted what The Stig already knew.

Stop signs actually mean drive faster.

Smallburg sent us a letter indicating they were studying the possibility of putting a stop sign at an intersection that I blow through regularly.

They asked for “citizen input.” Pffbbt. That’s code for “we know what’s best, but we need to tell the Smallburg Traffic Czar we asked.”

Today they admitted the obvious. Stop signs mean speed up.

Local and national studies show that drivers actually speed up after passing a stop sign in order to make up time lost having to stop.

Emphasis mine on passing a stop sign. Yes, I pass stop signs all the time in that neighborhood. I don’t stop because they are stupid. Nobody is every on the side street.

Verily, I pass.

However, in a blinding flash of brilliance, the Smallburg Traffic Czar decreed he

does NOT recommend installing stop signs.

I am The Stig.

I appreciate this nod to the drivers. Therefore, I will come to a complete stop at this intersection, look both ways, toot my Magnum horn, and proceed carefully to the next stop sign, where I will blow through it.

Sunday will be my first trip on this street, on my way to Big Box Store to get new rear tires for the Red Dodge Hemi Wagon. Michelin if you are interested.

If it’s dry, I may leave my mark of approval on the pavement as I stop where there is no sign.

I am The Stig.