Going Like Sixty

Demand Studios’ Editor for eHow.com is Just Full of Shit

Posted: 16 Apr 2010 11:23 PM PDT

I thought it would be fun to pick some quick bucks by writing a “how-to” piece for Demand Studios.

Demand Studios provides the content for eHow.com,

the leading online resource for “How to” instructions and project completion advice. People visit eHow to find help with how to do (just about) anything.

The title: How to barbecue great ribs easily

This is the deal (not how I wrote it.)
Dump some country style pork ribs in an aluminum pan, dump in a bottle of BBQ sauce, add a can of Coke, and cook for 3-4 hours over lowest heat on a gas grill.

This genius of an editor responded.

I wouldn’t approve this article just because this is not the best way to cook ribs. Most experts recommend indirect heat off the coals on the cooler side of the grill for most of the cooking before putting it directly over the coals, and most wait until later to apply BBQ sauce because it burns easily. Although it won’t poison them, your advice in not in the readers’ best interest.

Well no shit! I know how to cook ribs the hard way. This is the EASY way you loser. And I’ll tell you whut Bozo, these ribs are yummy.

This article is way too thin. You must provide greater detail or it won’t be worth the reader’s time–he’ll look for a more detailed article than yours and one that seems to be either written by an expert or based on credible research.

Thin? Hell yes it’s thin! It’s the EASY way to do ribs. I’ve done the hard way. I’ve cooked a whole damn hog! This is the EASY way to do great ribs you friggin’ editor.

Here’s the eHow.com description of how to boil an egg.

Place the raw egg in a saucepan.
Step 2 Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg.
Step 3 Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.
Step 4 Reduce the heat to low.
Step 5 Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.
Step 6 Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly.

I’m too good for Demand Studios. Screw ‘em. Unless they accept my other submission:

How to grill kick-ass bratwurst the easy way.

But since that only takes the same number of steps as boiling an egg, I’m sure that will get kicked back also.

In case you want to write for Demand Studios, here is a sample of the scintillating topics and pay rates: