Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Going Like Sixty

Going Like Sixty

Why Drifters Love Kayaking

Posted: 03 Aug 2010 11:33 PM PDT

Me and the Green River

Imagine getting in a kayak and drifting from the Cayman Islands to Key West 600 miles away. Impossible you scoff?

The Coast Guard found a drifting kayak 4 miles from Key Largo, Floridia. No body was found with the yak. But the Coast Guard had to determine the origin of the small craft. (Why? Dunno.)

"This is certainly a crazy, crazy story — just bananas front to back," said Sam Dawson, owner of the kayak.  "Even if you understand the Gulf Stream, it's a pretty phenomenal story of how it traveled that far.  And it's pretty phenomenal how they found me."  Six weeks ago, while enjoying the surf at his home in the Caymans, Dawson lost his ride.  "I got caught by a wave and flipped off," Dawson said.  "The wave took the surf ski away from me — I assumed never to be seen again."

How can you not love a hobby that requires no effort and can lead you to exotic lands?

Bad Things Come In Fores!

Posted: 03 Aug 2010 11:15 PM PDT

Fore! What golfer’s yell when a shot goes awry. Often followed by profanity.

1. Garage door spring broke. Patched and one week to get part.

2. Clothes washer died, error code 51, fully covered by Whirlpool because of my brick washing avocation. One week to get part.

3. Router didn’t withstand a relatively minor lightning strike. I didn’t survive installing new router. Part from Office Depot, hours to install

4. Nancy’s right hand wore out. Part removed, no replacement parts available.

I’m More of an Utz Cheese Ball Man, Myself.

Posted: 03 Aug 2010 12:31 PM PDT


Morrie Yoahi, R.I.P.

I do like Cheez Doodles, but the local Sam’s Club prefers I buy the gigantic tub of Utz Cheese Balls. Prefers, hell, forces me! It’s the only cheese-like crunchy stuff they carry.

Morrie Yohai was an adopter – an adapter – an innovator: He put his know how into making a new product out of an old one.

Dipsy Doodles were his inspiration.

He changed the Dipsy Doodle machine he owned to make mushy cornmeal into little tubes and had them coated with “cheese” and other processed crap that would lead to addictive behavior and yellow fingers everywhere.

His company also made ice cream cones – King Cones.

Melba Toast. Yeah, that was Morrie’s company too.

He died of  cancer brought on by Yellow Fever.

I bought some BAKED off-brand cheesy flavored tubular crunchy things last night.

Blech.

Had I known, I would have looked harder for bonafide Cheez Doodles.

It’s the least I could do for Morrie and his legacy.

Another smart guy dies just to beat U.S. out of some taxes!

Brainteasers Answers

Posted: 03 Aug 2010 11:32 AM PDT

Note to RSS readers… these are answers to a brainteaser post earlier today, you can:

1. Make up your own questions, or 2. Read the Brainteaser post first.

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing. Yup, this is not bogus.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls.
(The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.) Bo-oo-o–o- gus! (Ever listen to Car Talk?) As I said, relative to what? If the question said from it’s origins, then OK.

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb. Oh, damn, I should have known rhubarb too because he grew that too! E-yuck. Rhubarb pie, blech.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry. I coulda/shoulda got this. Dammit!

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle.
The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems. A ha! Bingo.

6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle… Yeah, well OK.

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe,question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces and ellipses. I don’t agree with dash, brackets, parenthesis, braces, those are something else. Apostrophe! Duh. Not accurate either according the all-knowing Wikipedia, they don’t even include parenthesis, calling them all “brackets.” The “solidus character won’t print using this font, but it looks like a smaller slash.

apostrophe ( ' ‘ )
brackets ( [ ], ( ), { },  )
colon ( : )
comma ( , )
dashes ( , –, —,  )
ellipsis ( …, … )
exclamation mark ( ! )
full stop/period ( . )
guillemets ( « » )
hyphen ( -,  )
question mark ( ? )
quotation marks ( ' ', " " )
semicolon ( ; )
slash/stroke ( / )
solidus (  )

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce. How about that! That’s a good one! Google says it’s not accurate, but I still like the answer.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts. Stockings? Stupid answer.
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