Friday, November 18, 2011

The Boomer Chronicles

The Boomer Chronicles


What I Learned at Lunch Today

Posted: 17 Nov 2011 11:16 AM PST

I eat out by myself sometimes during the work week. Some of the restaurants seat parties of one at tables that are uncomfortably close to other patrons, like the older couple I dined next to today. The restaurant was Vietnamese and lots of the dishes are spicy. The guy ordered a very hot soup and his wife got a cold salad-y dish. Immediately upon taking a taste of the broth, the man began coughing and sputtering. This went on for about 10 minutes. The wife was concerned and began to try to comfort him. This went on for a while, as he rebuffed each offer. “Want some water?” “No,” he grunted. “Want to order something else?” “No.” She even offered to trade her own dish for his. She eventually gave up since the man was clearly intent on not admitting that the spicy dish had the best of him.

Then I thought, as I sipped my somewhat-spicy pho, that I was witnessing a microcosm of the gendered world. Masculinity is based on self-reliance and independence, and not admitting weakness for fear of ridicule, among other qualities. Femininity is often based on caretaking and cooperation. The world could be a vastly different place if we all shared in the wide array of qualities on offer.

If we keep electing and advancing people who possess hyper-masculine qualities while simultaneously putting down women (Herman Cain: “sissy pizza”), we will keep digging ourselves into the same holes again and again.

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