Saturday, July 31, 2010

Going Like Sixty

Going Like Sixty

ER or OR, Nancy Always Tries to Send Me Home.

Posted: 30 Jul 2010 11:22 PM PDT

Nancy has been an ER regular lately. First there was the hair-dye allergy and Wednesday it was a blood sugar and heat exhaustion attack.

She’s been an OR fairly regularly too the past twelve months.  Latest was Friday for three operations on her hand.

It Doesn't Hurt Like This

Blue Marks Indicate Cuts Doc Will Make

She had two trigger fingers released (ring and middle), her thumb joint removed and replaced with tendon taken from her arm to get rid of the arthritis, and scar tissue will be removed from a previous carpal tunnel surgery. She will be bowling by October. tyvm.

Since it was the day before her birthday, she asked everyone she came in contact with that she expected “Happy Birthday” to be sung to her in the OR

She’s a good patient. Especially, since I can always count on her to give me permission to leave her in a drug induced stupor laying on a gurney in the ER or recovery.

With nurses and docs coming and going, she eventually will murmur, eyes closed:

“You don’t have to stay, you can go home.”

No really! And I’m not one of those that paces or sighs heavily or keeps looking at the time. Really. I’m as supportive as I know how. I don’t even turn on the Tee Vee.  I don’t leave.

Who would come pick her up when she is dismissed?

So after 43 years of marriage on August 17, the next time she says I can leave her in an OR or ER, I think I’ll go to the cafeteria and have a ice-cream fudge brownie delight.

See, the thing is with the drugs or natural stupor, she won’t know I’m gone.  And when I come back, I’ll tell her I did go home. That will teach her.

When she puts me on a gurney with those daggers to my heart, I’ll tell her…

“You don’t have to stay, you can go home.”

Three Reasons to Love My Walk to the Mailbox

Posted: 30 Jul 2010 01:57 PM PDT

Remember when a walk to the mailbox used to be the highlight of the day? When everything important came by US Postal Service? Before Fed-Up? Before email, before IMing, before Facebook?

Now I only have three reasons to walk to the mailbox.

  1. It’s code to Oliver for “take a shit.”

    Oliver

    At noon, he will be all curled up on the sofa on his own special blanket and I have to say “Oliver! Go to the mailbox?” And if you know anything about dogs, you know the punctuation marks have to be in the right place. If I said, “Oliver, go the mailbox” he would just look at me. “Oliver? Go to the mailbox!” now that would piss him off and he would go shit by my computer. Same deal at 9 o’clock p.m.

  2. To pick up a Google check. Sweet. My money. All mine. All the way back to the house where I turn it over to my CFO and only see it when I take it to the bank to deposit.
  3. Mainly, I love my walk to the mailbox to get FREEBIES. There is so much stuff floating around on the innerwebs, there are entire websites built on telling me how to collect…

Today my walk netted me, two free samples for Bullseye BBQ Sauce (note: annoying autoplay sound): Texas and Memphis style. Why they didn’t send me their Carolina and Kansas City style is beyond me. And they don’t even make Kentucky style!

Yesterday, my walk rewarded me with two New Castle Brown Ale Pub Glasses.

My absolute favorite, most reliable, and goofiest webfreebiemaster is Goob at Hey, It’s Free. First, because he does a fantastic job of digging this stuff out and posting it quick (most freebies are gone very quickly) Second, he gives you tips that come in handy, like how to fill out a form written in Spanish:

Nombre – first name
Apellido – last name
Sexo – sex
Fecha de Nacimiento – date of birth
Dirección – address
Ciudad – city
Estado – state
Código Postal – zip code
Teléfono – telephone
Correo electrónico – e-mail

I’m contributing: Clavé – password and…

Means, A HA! you loco gringo, you think we don’t already know your nombre and direccion?

Think again el stupido lame-o, you think you are Pancho Villa?

Thank you.

I also like Goob because he puts the freebie right in his RSS feed with some suitable snark or quip.

Every package seems to have different freebies, so it's like a mystery as to what you'll get. Just imagine you're on a modern-day version of Let's Make A Deal and about to find out what you won. In fact, do that with every aspect of your life and you'll find that many everyday activities are enhanced.

And his website name sums up why I sign up for adult diapers, magazine subscription to Boating magazine, Eucerin Daily Skin Balance lotion, and two Kotex Lightdays pantiliners.

Hey! It’s FREE.

Just don’t go shooting your mouth of to everyone about HeyIt’sFree.NET, so far it’s Goob and me and you and a few others that know about what he’s doing.

Sign up for HeyItsFree.NET and start loving your walk to the mailbox.

Da Nada.
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