The Baby Boomer Renaissance: Going Like Sixty

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Going Like Sixty

Posted: 20 Jul 2010 11:09 PM PDT

199 lbs. 16 ounces below my goal weight.

I reached 205 lbs. and plateaued there. Losing 75 pounds sounded pretty good, losing 80 pounds was an arbitrary goal anyway.

But since summer has come and we start eating more fresh veggies and salads and chicken and good stuff I’ve lost a few more pounds.

So I checked the old BMI to see if I still was overweight according to the experts at Nutrisystem.

Your BMI is 25 (kg/m²) at a weight of 199 lbs. and a height of 6 ft. 3 in.

The BMI is calculated using a formula that compares height and weight (kg/m²). It provides an acceptable measure of fatness and helps identify your risk of developing certain health problems — the higher your BMI — the greater your risk.

A BMI of 25-29.9 is considered overweight and a BMI of 30 or above is considered obese. Note: BMI is not appropriate for anyone less than 18 years old, competitive athletes or body builders, pregnant or nursing women, or frail elderly persons.

Overweight. Friggin’ overweight! Billy Bejeezes Chirps in a Bucket! Overweight.

Looking for any loophole, the only one that seems available is to be a Frail Elderly.

So screw the old BMI, I’m elderly and frail. And I’m telling those chicks and studs that keep offering to load my kayak that too. Hell with it. Yeah, toss that sucker in my car, I’m Frail Elderly.

If I can get the Senior Citizen’s discount at McFries Queen and the AARP discount at Barbados R Us, then I am embracing my new Frail Elderly classification.

I’m getting a T Shirt made.

Frail Elderly.

Baby Boomer no more – I am now FECAL.

Frail Elderly Crazy And Lame.

Because we all know: FECAL Matters.