Baby Boomers U. S. (The Blog)

Monday Musings for Baby Boomers – Feline Physics

Posted: 23 Jan 2012 03:21 AM PST

Smile!

Monday has always been a little bit of a let down, what with it being the beginning of the work week and all.

So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…

Baby Boomers Monday Musings.

K. is a cat lover. Not only that, she volunteers for an animal rescue and we foster cats and kittens until they can be adopted out to a ”forever home” . Living with multiple felines, we have been made more than aware of…

Feline Physics

Law of Cat Inertia – A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion – A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism – All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics – Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching – A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping – All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Refrigerator Observation – If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction – Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking – A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy – All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment – A cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Disinterest – A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection – Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition – A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.

Law of Cat Elongation – A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction – A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration – A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance – Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration – No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance – A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation – Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation – Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Milk Consumption – A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement – A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing – A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement – A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Hope that put a little smile on your face and Keep On Smilin’

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